So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
