So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
