nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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