Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
