Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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