Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
