Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Say something about gay babies.
We got so high we made milksteak
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
