I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
