Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
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You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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