The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
