is wine microwaveable?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Your cock deserves a montage
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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