Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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