Can Purell be used as lube?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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