First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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