you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
