That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
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He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's rum buckets o'clock
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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