just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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