I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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