Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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