He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
