we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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