Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
