I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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