Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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