Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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