So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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