Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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