Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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