OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
