I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
do nipples grow back?
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