dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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