Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
