Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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