that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize