I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
