tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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