Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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