Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
