Screwed.edu
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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