Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
