winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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