Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
