Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
