i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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