I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
