I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
