i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
