thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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