Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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