He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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