i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
