you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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