how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
