Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
