The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
