I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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