I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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