1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
