margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
