I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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