just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
