my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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