Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
